...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
