i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
