She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
