Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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