you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
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Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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