On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
