Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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