What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
