so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
