I wanna bring you to show and tell
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
