so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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