We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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