Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
