It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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