hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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