You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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