it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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