is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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