i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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