Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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