Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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