she was so not down for the gang bang
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
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she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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