I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
