Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
