you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
