why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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