Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
