i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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