My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
