Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
