Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
