Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize