I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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