fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
