PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
