Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
