Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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