Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
