No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
