Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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