You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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