I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
