but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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