Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
