While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
