So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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