I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
