I just saw a hot homeless man
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
