He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
