Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
