he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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