I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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