Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
