Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize