Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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