I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
