Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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