we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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