Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
