So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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