I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
