how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
